A video from Valencia on day 3 of the lockdown in Spain, which means that I can’t go out of my house. Today I want to make a video about trust and fear, I want to give you some practical tips how to deal with them.
But first there are 4 important questions that are on top of everyone’s mind:
- Will I get the corona virus?
- Do I need to stay at home? Really?
- What is going to be the economic consequence of this crisis?
- How do I deal with all the fear and the insecurities?
The last question is the only question that we can do something about. This is why I make this video, to help you deal with these fears and insecurities.
Click on the picture to start the video, or read the text under the picture.
The answers to these questions:
1. Yes, we probably do, because a lot of people are going to be infected. I have been very tired since last weekend. So maybe I do have this virus. I am not worried. There are not a lot of people who do need to go to the hospital and my symptoms are very mild.
2: Yes, you do need to stay at home. I am not going to elaborate on this, but yes, please, stay at home. It is the only thing that we can do.
3: We don’t know what is going to be the economic shift, but it is probably going to be huge.
4: How you can deal with these insecurities.
To answer the last question:
What I see happen, is that there are basically two different reactions to fear.
The first is to ignore it. Some say that it is not true, conspiracy theorists say that the corona virus is a government move to control us and to make us do things. And sometimes also spiritual advisors will say that you should trust and you should not focus on the fear. “Let’s just not talk about it.”
The other reaction to fear is to amplify it. Then you are so overwhelmed by the emotion of fear that you stop thinking and you don’t know what to do.
Both these reactions are not helpful. They are not going to help you through this crisis. A lot of people forget that there is also a third possibility, and I am going to share it (also in the next video’s) because it is very important to know this option.
The practical tip is to make a distinction between feelings and thoughts. So you feel fear, or you feel anger. But we don’t want this negative feeling, so we push it away. In this way we actually make it bigger.
But what a lot of people forget is that when an emotion is there, it just wants to be felt. If you dive into an emotion it is probably going to transform into something else so it is not scary. It is just there and it needs to be felt. So just feel the fear.
Everyone has fears. I came to Valencia and I don’t know anyone here so I was afraid. When I started traveling in my campervan I was afraid. I am a business owner and I am afraid lots of the times. It’s there. I can feel it. But we are so used to pushing it away that we even can’t see that it is fear, and this is not useful.
What you can do is just feel the fear, and at the same time become aware that you feel the fear. You can do both at the same time. You can feel the fear and then go into the awareness of this person – you – feeling the fear.
This awareness is the place in your body or your head where you have the possibility to make a conscious choice what you are going to do about the fear. So you can decide to feel the fear and let it stop you. Or you can decide to feel the fear and do it anyway.
If fear is a boat, you can just watch the boat float by. Or you can jump on this boat and become overwhelmed. Or you can watch this boat and say: “that is interesting, I am feeling fear. What has happened? What am I going to do about it?”
It sounds like simple advice: you feel the fear and you become aware of it and then you make a conscious choice, but it is really the hardest thing we can do. We humans are so quick to either become overwhelmed by our emotions – because we are not used to feeling it – or to rationalise these feelings.
These are our basic reactions to fear. But doing both at the same time really takes practice. So I am going to share more, and I will also share practical tips how to do it.
Before I end this video, I am want to end with one last tip which is also really important. If you feel fear and you do this exercise I told you, it is also important to focus your attention not only on the fear, but also on what gives you joy.
So this also can become a conscious choice. What makes you happy? For me it would be to go out in nature, which is actually the only thing I can’t do at the moment. But maybe singing, making choices, relax.
Consciously make time to make time to look for things that give you joy. And it takes practice. Because fear is so all consuming so we think it is all there is. So you have to make a conscious choice to go in the other direction and to trust and to have joy and pleasure.
Like in Italy. These people have been locked in their houses for 10 days and they start singing to each other from their balconies. We are human, we also want to have fun. But you have to think about it. What if you are locked down in a house, like me, alone: what is your way of experience pleasure and joy?
I am doing a Facebook live every day at 4pm on my personal profile on Facebook and in this way I am starting to build a community and we are going to talk more about fear and trust and joy in these exceptional times. So if you want to join, please feel welcome. We can share ideas and maybe do something together and who knows what this will bring.
I will also share videos on my Youtube channel. Please like my Facebook channel if you want to be notified when there is a new video (I am not going to send all the videos in this newsletter).
And maybe you can share this video with others, for whom this could also be useful? I would really appreciate it. Thank you. You can share this link to my website (with the text) or this link to Youtube.
Last but not least, please send me your reactions, questions and suggestions. I am happy to read them and react to it and have a conversation, because locked in my house I have all the time in the world.